Sometimes it’s hard to admit that I’m a bit quirky.  Not the “I just saw a funny joke about Rick Springfield wanting Jessie’s grill on Facebook and forwarded it on” kind of quirky, but the other kind – the kind that makes other people look at me like I have two heads.  It’s possible that the first kind and the second kind are not mutually exclusive.   But either way, sometimes I don’t care what people think …mostly in cases when I’m just being silly or having fun.  Other times, I do…mostly when I’m being serious and I know (or am guessing) that others are rolling their eyes at me anyway.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because this year is the fortieth anniversary of the movie “Jaws.”  I can hardly believe that to be true.  But it is.  Also true is the fact that I watched that movie when I was too young.  As a result, I start to hyperventilate when I’m in any body of water in which I cannot see the bottom.  This always made the start and end of my water skiing turns more than a little stressful.  Even more ridiculous and embarrassing: I cannot swim alone in a pool.  My psyche seems to believe that if at least one other person is in the pool and a shark bursts up through the filter vent at the bottom (because, you know, they’re totally known to do that) the hungry monster will most likely eat the other swimmer for lunch, leaving me to happily continue swimming my laps.

My life path took a similarly ridiculous turn with respect to spiders.  When I was young, the window to my bedroom looked out into a little shaded cove.  Two big and beautiful spiders had spun their intricate webs in the corners of that window…just a foot or so from where I lay my head at night.  I loved those spiders.  I studied them every night before going to sleep.  Then one summer day, my friends and I decided to watch “Kingdom of the Spiders” on HBO.  We huddled on the couch and watched as a small town in Arizona was terrorized by marauding tarantulas.  When the movie was over, we bolted out of the house and climbed to the top of the jungle gym.  When I was called home for dinner  I had a hard decision to make – climb down to the ground and go home for hot dogs at great risk of spider attack or live out the rest of my days precariously perched at the top of a jungle gym.  My friends and I did eventually come down from that jungle gym, but at least two of us have been on high alert ever since.  I don’t think I ever looked at the spiders outside my window again.

Young minds.  Powerful images.  Lasting impressions.

So that’s the background.  That’s why I’m so careful about what I let my children watch, play, and read.  It’s why, a while back, I had that awkward moment when my son was invited to a birthday party at the movies.  I researched the movie they were going to see and realized that I wasn’t going to let him go.  I thought about fudging the reason – wanting to tell the mom behind the invite that we were just too busy or had a prior commitment.  But that wasn’t true.  The truth was that we are simply not yet a PG-13 family.  So I tried to keep the explanation short and light and truthful and imagined that my explanation was being met with an eye roll.

Our boys are getting older, though, and we’re opening up the media options for them.  They’re also different.  One handles action and intensity in movies and books much better than the other and always has.  He also seems to critically filter out nonsense better than the other.  So I don’t apply a cookie cutter approach to them both.  What I do apply, though, is a filter for every movie, video game, and book that forces them through the following tests:

The Philippians 4:8 Test

 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV)

When I’m considering movies, books, or video games for my family, I always check pluggedin.com, kidsinmind.com, and commonsensemedia.org.  I check all three because they all provide information in different formats and differ in how conservative their reviews are.  I feel that after I’ve read them all, I can make a balanced and informed decision.  As I’m reading the reviews and sifting through the details, I always have Philippians 4:8-9 in mind.  And while there is little out there that actually fully aligns with the passage, I can use the reviewing tools to test how much of the media content falls outside the passage, how far it falls, how gratuitous or relevant to the story it is, and how I think it will likely affect my boys.

I care this much because I know, based on my experience when I was young, that once an image, thought, or idea is put into a young mind, it can’t be taken out again.  I also imagine that the people creating the media content have interests that compete with mine.  We’re not in this as a team.  They’re trying to push the envelope in search of consumer dollars.  They have little interest in helping me raise my boys into men of great faith and character.  So yes, I’m skeptical of them and I look over their offerings with a wary eye.   I have found that this wariness has saved me from spending hard earned dollars on what most often amounts to junk food for the brain.  True media gems are out there, but just like in other areas of life, greatness only comes around once in a while.  When it does, we’re all in.

The 1 Corinthians 10:13 Test

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13, NIV)

I know that I once got an eye roll over this one.  I think the response I received in this case had to do with the different way I handled my sons.  I had reviewed a popular movie that was out and decided to take a pass on it.  I certainly wasn’t standing in judgment of anyone else who went to see it.  I just decided that I didn’t want to spend my own money on it.  It was okay, not great, from a Philippians 4:8 standpoint.  I decided that it wasn’t worth enough to me to spend our family dollars on it.  And frankly, based on the reviews, it had a lot of elementary level potty humor in it.  One of the reviews that swayed me came from a twenty something year old male reviewer on a completely non-faith based website.  I figured that if he thought it was a little over the top, we didn’t need to bother.

Then my older son was invited to go see that movie at a birthday party.  I decided to change my answer for him and let him go.  I felt under no compulsion to change my answer for my younger son.  At first he was incensed, but after my explanation to him (based on 1 Corinthians 10:13), he understood and didn’t give it another thought.

The difference between the two boys was this: My older son could watch the movie, even laugh at the corny toilet humor, and walk away unchanged.  My younger son would be the kid to incorporate every offensive word into his vocabulary and retell every off color joke over and over for weeks following exposure.  I felt that letting him watch that movie was actually putting him in a position to be tempted beyond what he could bear.  Was watching that movie the worst thing that could happen to him in life? No.  But did he really want to pay for those 90 minutes of silliness with two months of discipline? I knew him well enough to know that that was likely going to be the deal.  Did he want to take it? Was it worth that much to him?  No.

If God cares for us by not allowing us to be tempted beyond which we can bear if we trust him, why would I put my son in a position to be tempted beyond what I knew he could not bear?  When I explained that to him, he trusted me.  And he didn’t give that movie another thought.  The movie has since disappeared.  It wasn’t one of the greats.  It won’t be making any great comebacks.  I saved my money.  My son didn’t have to spend weeks with us on him, trying to clean up his mouth.

So there you have it.  From the world’s standpoint, all this makes me a bit of a dork.  People roll their eyes at me.  And I’m okay with it.  My sons roll their eyes at me.  And I’m totally okay with it.  I’d rather come down on the side of being too conservative sometimes and opening the world of media up to them slowly.

We recently watched a movie together as a family that we took the time to wait for.  When we did, there was no question in my mind that both boys were ready.  They loved it.  We loved it.  It was a great night at the Jackson family home movie theater.  My son woke me up close to midnight that night because he couldn’t stop thinking about that movie.  I felt so bad thinking that he was having nightmares and kicked myself for not waiting longer.  As we lay side by side in the dark, I asked him if he was scared.  He replied, “No.  I can’t stop thinking about the great parts of the movie and rewriting scenes in my head to make them even cooler.”

So yes, I’m a dork.  I wear the badge proudly and I have no regrets.  Now about Rick Springfield and Jessie’s grill…